Food Unseen

I've been contemplating the statement that Jesus made to his befuddles disciples, "I have food that you know not of..." During this season of my life where homemaking, taxiing children from school to home and back again, and discipling young adults in God's ways is the norm, I am discovering what Jesus meant about FOOD UNSEEN.

When we are really walking in our calling and living out our giftings, we discover a place in God that satisfies not just our souls, but our bodies as well. There is so much life when we walk in fulfillment of how God made us. God pours his life through us and connects with those around us---an electrifying connection!

I do what I do out of my love for Jesus. I can hardly wait to see every nation, tribe, and tongue worshiping before the throne of God. My work is not yet done. There are many more people groups who have not heard the truth (4K Project) that God loves them and gave His Son for them to have relationship with him.

So, thank you, God for allowing me the privilege of bonding people to Jesus through the giftings you have given me. I identify with Christ in being satisfied... by doing the will of His Father.

Blossoms and Buds

Created like our Creator, I like to create. I like to make things with my hands whether it is purposely edible or not. I enjoy to see what jumps off of my sewing machine or what comes out of my oven. It's fun to see one of my children using it or eating itl.

There has been a baby boom in my circle of local relationships, so I've been busy at the sewing machine upscaling clothes into baby clothes or making baby booties with contrasting colors and materials or little hats that go "pop!"

Spring where I live comes on slowly and methodically. When once going outside for a walk was a silent and peaceful stroll, it now becomes a symphony of sounds from the barking dogs down the street to the calling birds in the trees to the dripping water from the eaves. Spring is soon coming, and I look forward to the bountiful blossoms after a long winter's sleep.

With spring comes the changing of the rotating menus. I've gone through the recipes that I've accumulated over the year from magazines or library books or online sites. I go through those recipes and choose ingredients that are fresh in this season. Then, I replace some of last year's repeat recipes to freshen up our palates a bit. Some recipes just won't work well with littles; those will have to wait until we are old and littles are no longer in the house. Some I just want to have regardless whether they like them or not. A sampling that made it to the spring menu that I look forward to are: Grilled 4 Cheese Sandwiches, Cinnamon Beef , Portobello Burgers w/ Green Sauce & Smoked Cheese, and Potato Perogies.

Here's to looking forward to a new season. Bring on the buds!

Misplaced Expectations

For the last seven months we have been contemplating a change for this next school year for educating our children. This overtaxed Mama needed a break from homeschooling. With so many options out there we settled on what we thought was the best situation for our family. It sounded too good to be true.

We opted to do a virtual charter school that we thought would provide the teaching, curriculum and direction...while we provided the "atmosphere" and managing. We planned, encouraged our children, made all of the commitments to this new endeavor with great fervor. The children were all on board (did they really have a choice?!) Over the last month we have received the curriculum and other supplies necessary to embark on this grand scheme.

Just this last Friday we had our orientation for the school. What an eye-opening experience that was! It was then...ten days before school begins that we discovered that, lo and behold, I was the teacher for this school option. The school was the "resource" as they referred to themselves. That is NOT what I expected, desired, or understood this to be all along. Why did it become clear now and not earlier??? It was the following day that I broke out all of the teacher manuals that we had received with the curriculum (I suppose that should have been a clue...rather than a perceived mistake!). It took four hours just to get an overview of three students (two haven't received their curriculum as of yet). A sinking feeling began to overtake my sense of justice. I tried to make the best of it. Put on a good face and process what was happening...that I would not be getting a year off as planned. I mean, hey,...so what if a new baby was coming in 40 days (give or take a few); I would get through this, right?

Frankly, I don't want to find out. Feelings of failure began to overtake me in waves. I couldn't accept that we had made such a huge blunder. Though, really, it isn't our fault that communication never brought the understanding that this glorified option of schooling at home was just "homeschooling" with accountability of the state. Phooey.

My dear husband made it clear that we are in this together. Today emotionally-charged and fighting depression, we went back to the drawing board...gave it to God and asked for wisdom. We brought it to our children ages 6 -12 and asked them to pray with us about what to do. Following our family meeting we have decided on a workable plan: 2 to private school(which already informally accepted them...good thing since they start in 24 hours), 2 will go to public, and one will remain at home to do the virtual school... of course, there will still be a preschooler, a toddler and a newborn, but I can do that. I feel lighter already (and that is a feat in and of itself)!

Brokenness and Dis-Ease

People whose hearts are broken from the pain of life are susceptible to bodily consequences. I once heard a man speak that when we have pains of hurt and unforgiveness that it is a dis-ease within our spirit. That dis-ease keeps us uptight, locked in a place of stagnancy where we cannot grow or mature beyond that place. It is frustrating to think that we can give such control over our own lives to others who may not be aware of the offense or who even give a care. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Most recently, I have been reminded of this through the death of a young man. It may not have been even the cause of his death, but I cannot help wondering what deep things concerned him, what pains he carried... If it weren't for God's abounding grace, I too would be overwhelmed with the pain of the past. Through God's tender prodding and His gentle guidance, I was able to pass from a death, a dying within my heart to a vibrant life. No more dis-ease in my life. God brought the freedom that I so needed to really live. And, isn't THAT what Christ died for? Not to just free us from the guilt of sin, but to free us to live, to REALLY live.

Today I'm grateful to GOD who really does love me (and everyone else on this planet). He cares about the details in our lives. He created us with giftings and a unique personality, set of fingerprints, expression, etc. that HE absolutely adores. I really am grateful for his choosing me.

Cultivation within the home

Within the walls of our home is safety...safety to express one's self, safety to be whomever, safety to have emotions of all sorts... It's a learning ground for dealing with the world around us. It is a place to find one's footing in addressing life's challenges. Sadly, many children today do not have that kind of safe place.

When my child struggles with academics or a friend's careless remark, I need to be the sensitive, sounding board that holds a higher perspective and can speak judiciously. It's about the heart and where it is. Parents should actively be pursuing their children's hearts. It is there that true intimacy, understanding, and love is cultivated. It is there that we meet through difficulties and challenges. The intimacies of the heart will be what we holds us together as we all age and mature. It's toward that end that I live my life today.

Touching the Heart

True giving of ourselves requires a sacrifice on our part. Sometimes it is a gift to a dear friend. Sometimes it is to someone we hardly know. Less often it is to someone less fortunate than us.

We speak of lavishingly loving God our Savior by giving him our lives. What of giving him our time, our finances, our gifts? what about the investment of the future generations? what about discipling nations?

My ten-year old daughter and husband are currently trekking in an Asian nation. They are lavishly loving our Father by sharing God's dreams of intimacy with new family members. It's an exciting adventure...one that my ten year old will cherish for a lifetime.

Stop. Drop. And Rolling with the punches...

This week my life got a bit jumbled in action. We had our washing machine overflow, for 30 minutes, upstairs, while I slept literally feverishly beside my son for a nap...results? A flood pouring forth from the second floor all the way to the basement. Stop. Drop (a boatload of towels). And Roll (sop up as much water as possible from top to bottom and every floor in between). Enter the insurance company. Enter the restoration company. Exit the family of ten in 24 hours for one week while the job gets underway. Ahhh... says the mother. YAhhh... say the children. Okaaaay...says the papa.

I mean, I wanted to give our home a facelift and all, with a coat of paint or two or 25. I also wanted to get away for a few days. But THIS combination is just about sending me over the edge. What edge you say? The lunatic one complete with the little white jacket, the straight one!

I am thankful that I will have two new bathroom floors when this is all finished. I am thankful that the children will have gone swimming for hours and hours (counting that for P.E., I am!). I am thankful for the reprieve from my life. I am glad to have the "facelift" jump-started. Learning curve here...I'm not as flexible as I'd like to think. Opportunity for growth without a doubt. Need to embrace it...but I need a lot of help.